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AIM = KaCeBooth07
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| --8/19/10-- Short Summary |
| --5/29/09-- Man it has been a very long time |
Where we are right now is trying to figure out the future. Were trying to get our acts together so we can be a family and get married and all that jazz. Initially, once both of us realized we were in this for the long haul, we were extremely excited and we talked about things a lot. As time went on, we kinda realized that there are a lot of challenges that were not forseen, or if they were, they ended up being a lot more complicated than expected. I'm really not going to go into huge detail, but ya, obviously since she has 2 kids, there is a lot of fallout from their father and complications there, as well as things that happened previous to that as well. THen you got the job market, and probably most importantly, just a lot of healing to do for the both of us. We both have had a lot of bad experiences, and we both carry a great deal of baggage into the relationship as a result.
While both of us are still very happy together, we are having to take things a little slower than we want for now because of some of those unforseen issues. In the meantime, I will be taking the time to get to know the kids better from time to time, and to figure out things for when we are ready to take that ultimate step. Sadly, there is no timeframe or date for this, due to the current economic condition, which I will discuss with you later. But ya, for now, I'm just going to keep saving up money, and learn more and more about my gf and her kids somewhere in between. We don't really see eachother as much as we want to, but we keep in touch throughout the day via text message or the occasional call. It's not the greatest, and is sometimes frustrating, but for now it is for the best and we both accept that.
I do have a camping trip planned though in a couple weeks. I extended out my vacation at work, so I'll use that time to gain some more understanding of how the dynamics will be once we are a family, and try to have some fun at the same time. I really hope we have a good time. My dad assures me that kids love camping and he hasn't met a kid that hasn't had a good time camping. It's just that I've never had to be the person to be responcible for anyone, so ya, it's new, but I figure if this is the path I will be going down, then this will be one of many tests along the way.
Ok, let me just update you on all 3 of them. Christine has been doing ok. Mostly just been staying involved with the kids and her family and her families friends. We try to fit in a Friday here and there to have a date night, and I try to see her another time in the week when Andrew does baseball or something. I guess if you want more of an update from her, there is always her facebook :)
As far as the kids go, Andrew is doing fairly well in baseball. Still got a few skill sets to work on, but each time I've showed him something he figures it out pretty quick. Usually only have to show him something once or twice, and he generally does it right after that point. I can tell ya he does a hell of a lot better at comprehending things at his age, than I ever did. Everything was a struggle with me. As far as Nathaniel goes, he has recently successfully completed his 2 years of pre-school and will be graduating... according to him first or 2nd in his class :) Nathaniel is very unique and he's very outspoken and social, and ya is always full of suprises. He really caught me off guard when he told me he was hoping to go camping this year, and even more when he invited me to the graduation. So ya, guess I'll be going, cause it would be kinda rude not to go when you are invited, and obviously he thinks it's important enough to invite me, and that I'm important enough??????? Makes a grown man a little misty, ya know?
Oh yes, I still do work for RGIS part time.... as in 2 or 3 days a month max... usually once a month. Guess only notable news I wish to discuss (no not their new pay system.... that would take forever).... no district 415 is no more! We are now 408Sat.... yes we merged with a portland district. I do feel bad for Kris Robbins which basically gets demoted. Glad I don't work there full time. That is no way to treat your working force that has been there most their adult life!
But ya, basically I normally get friday-sunday off (excluding when I work the other job). I save fridays for christine, and saturdays for burbs+tyler, and I leave sundays for myself. And ya, I got into a game on facebook called mafia for awhile, but it's getting old, so probably not going to play it anymore. You can only level up so many times, before it just wares on you. I really don't have a whole lot going on.... oh ya, I upgraded my os to Vistax64 thanx to Klass. I dunno if I like it better... I like the sound support better, but the rest is just as good or worse... time will tell, I guess. Well, I can't think of much to say here so I'll just do one last subject before I call this quits.
| --1/23/08-- First 2008 update |
Well just want to say that things are going great as usual. I gave her a promise ring on new years. It is the one she was expecting, but I made sure she thought I wouldn't get it. It's nothing fancy, but it does the job. She's definitely very happy, and enjoys sporting it and letting her mind think about the future in a bubbly way. I guess that is what it is for, and I am glad it makes her happy, and it makes me happy to know it.
Were defintely discussing the future and what we both need to do to get there, and how to make the transition both for ourselves and the kids. It's going to be another big step, but I am confident we will accomplish it. I think the kids being at home and having multiple parental figures with different phylosophies has contributed to some interesting behavior changes, as well as the changes in their moms life and of course, the dad kinda being rarely heard from, and well, just getting older and how that applies to their lives. Can't say I totally understand it, but hopefully in time I will. I kinda had to change from the fun guy that came over there to do things with them, to that guy they kinda don't like as much anymore, and has to lay down the law.
Christine is a very nice person, and people (inc. the kids) often take advantage of her non-assertiveness in situations. So ya, it's like I almost feel a need to defend herself against that (inc. the kids). It seems weird, but it's really how I feel. Either way, I figure if that's the worst of my problems, compared to most families, were doing pretty good, so I'm not too worried until they get older and have more older type problems potentially.
Also I am kinda limited in my scope of what I can do while she is living at home, since her parents would have their own views and if they didn't agree with mine most likely overrule me, and I am not going to get into a struggle with them if I disagree with something they do, since that would put stress on the relationship they have with Christine, so I'm going to only intervene when they aren't close by or in care of them. I'll have to wait until we are a unit before I do anything perminent. I guess that is the best thing, right?
Like I said, if those and figuring out finances and kid coverage is the most of my worries, I am a very lucky man. You know, I just can't really express just how greatful I am to be loved by this wonderful person. The way she sees me and treats me, and is devoted to me is beyond what I can express on a web page with a bunch of text. It occasionally brings me to tears. I want my girl to be happy for the rest of her life, and I hope I am able to live up to my end of the bargain there. I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her, and sharing the world and my world with her.
Not sure what else to say, so I'll just say this... I love you Christine, and thanks for everything!
Seriously though, things are ok. I did get a .40 cent raise. How I do not know, cause I totally slack at work now. Apparently I made my Earned Average Per Hour goals, and blah blah blah blah. Whatever the computer says I did in the last 50 stores, blah blah blah blah. It is so stupid. Seriously, they say they take into account where you are counting or if you are supervising but come on, like a computer knows if a customer or someone interupts you or if someone just threw a bunch of shit on a shelf and expects you to count it, or a person named John fucking Reed cherry picks all the good areas so they can legitimize paying him so much, or if you got about 12 people that no show or are total bitches and ruin your morale for the team. A computer doesn't know if your team is full of newbies that need to be trained by you or has the A-team that can do everything for themselves. Raises based on personal production promotes selfishness and not a team concept. Anyone with half a freaking brain could figure that out.
Ok, now that I changed moods, I'll get the positive. Things have been better in the last week. I got to help out the other district with Doug, and he is always happy to see us and treats us like royalty. I have also worked with new people, and since I like helping people, that puts me in a more positive mood too. I'd honestly rather train and run stores, and not count. Counting is boring. I also wish I could count with my new MP3 player, but you know how that looks to a store person, so gotta keep the "professionalness". LOL, whatever. If we were professionals, we would be on salary and not be worked at every fucking hour of the day without comensation, and we would actually be a part of a union and get those kinda benefits. I hate when the company lies to their customers and employees about who we really are. We are grub worms really.
LOL, am I bitter much? It's hard to organize my thoughts at times. Seriously though, I've been better the last week or so at work. Even driving in the snow was fun. Cause I had a van of kewl people, I demonstrated a powerslide in the snow on a dare, lol. See I just wish people would not take life so seriously, ya know? Also, I wish the company wasn't so freaking greedy and did a lot more sharing of profit. I think they would have happier workers and turnover wouldn't be so much. We need better vehicles, better training, better everything. These are the reasons I will end up having 2 or 3 jobs, and I have been with this company over 7 years, and it is just sad that they will be losing me and anyone else that was any good cause of the way they treat their employees. This could be a very fun job if they weren't butt munches.
But lets get district specific and go away from company policy. I respect my DM (Kris Robbins) a lot. I think she is a very smart person, and a capable leader. She also can count awesomely and is not afraid of hard work. I just disagree with some of the things that have been going on. I think we should have high expectations with character. If anyone knows why the Portland Trail Blazers were called "The Jail Blazers", then no more needs to be said. People are giving 100 thousand chances and they keep screwing up and they keep making this workplace a negative place. There are at least a dozen people I think should not be working for us cause they are annoying as hell, and make us look like shit. That, and the stupid company policies and some of the stuff other people do contribute to why I have not been very professional or unlazy myself.
You know, I think now that I have had some time to think about this, and some things Kris (Robbins) was saying, I'll give her a chance. There were a few times, she did cut me some breaks to even keep my job, and I know she does care, but you know how it is hard for me to let someone in, unless I really trust them. But she did ask me an honest question once when I was totally slacking. She kinda asked me why I changed, and I really didn't have an answer for her... well I did, but I didn't know what to say in the heat of the moment, plus at the time, I as so tired, I wanted to pass out on the sales floor, but now that I have had time to think about it, and I guess since I got a raise, they are obviously happier with me, I think it is the best and probably the only oppurtunity to see where she is at, so that is that. Still gonna get another job though, cause I did tell her at one point last year that the job is not for me, but I think I'll be more honest this time around.
Ok, lets see what else...
I'd say the other big one is basketball. I've been getting in slightly better shape but my fat ass can't do full court without getting totally out of breath, but I am avoiding injuries. A couple days ago, I got to play this guy http://rivalshoops.rivals.com/viewprospect.asp?Sport=2&pr_key=57306 and I totally owned him. I know he wasn't trying cause obviously he doesn't want to get hurt, but he was afraid of even guarding me inside and while I did get blocked 3 times, I burned him off the dribble, in the post and even shot over him and faked him out. I even boxed him out on a bounce rebound and put it up uncontested. If you really are a top 150 prep player in the nation (20th small forward). You shouldn't be manhandled by a guy that is out of shape like me, and although giving up 35lbs, they are a good half foot taller than me. My view... overrated. But oh well, not his fault and he is a nice guy and so it's kewl we got to play against him before he gets to play for Oregon.
I might do some MKSC to replace my supposedly Ribbon Road shortcut time. I don't get some of the rules there. I'll eventually get the other hand held kart, but that will more be because Christine and I have sorta a gift promise there, lol.
I guess the last subject is the 2008 trip. there is a finalized time for it. Apparently it is from August 14th to 18th. Either way, Andrew did a great job hosting and everyone had fun there, and of course a lot of my peeps that I would want to meet up with again or see for the first time were there. The things I have an issue with is the fact I am planning for my future life, and it seems sorta frivilous at this point. Yes, I know my girlfriend would want me to go, there are also other issues. Last year, the kart competition (the main reason I would go), they only played 4 rounds, and nobody taped it. I would insist that we play all the rounds, and that there is full taping, and I would want full control over the competition. I know it sounds selfish, but if I am going to put down 500 dollars or more for a trip, I think it is reasonable to have an expectation like this. Either way, not to be offensive, but those would be my expectations if I was to go. It is kinda the reason I want to eventually host, but then again, I think they did do a good job hosting and were very gracious as hosts and everyone had fun, so I don't want to ruin that with my expectations, and the way I feel about things, when they clearly have better facilities, but I may host a limited meet just for kart, cause I have a few people (one from canada even) that would prefer I host (a few cause they live in cali), so for them and for myself, I may host in 2009. I'll look more into it once I move out.
LOL I played some cards tonight with my fam + BUrbs. We did pinochole partners (burbs and I vs my dad and my middle bro). We kicked their butt. Then we did spades without Burbs, and I finished 2nd there. It was close though. Kinda mad Dad helped Jamie but oh well, I probably deserved that.
Outside of that, I just would like to say life is better these days, cause of having a future and planning for it, and I just look back at life, and probably something I will do is probably find out where some key people are in my past, and the ones that either helped me or tried to help me, I am going to tell them how I feel, and thank them for everything they did or tried to do. Life is indeed good, and they always believed in me as I do the people I help, and I do owe them some gratitude for it. Steff Smeltzer (first close friend from school) , Don Callis (chess player from across the creek) , and a few of my counsellors from school that really tried to help, but I kinda shut them out, sadly. They did spend a lot of time with me that they really didn't need to do in hopes that I would straighten out my behavior. Well, I guess I still haven't, but I still thank them for caring.
Well I know there are a lot of things I've thought about in the news or just life that I could put here, but maybe I'll do that in a future update. For now, peace out all, and thank you all for reading my unorganized thoughts, lol. Party on!
| --11/02/07-- IN THE WEE HOURS! |
Outside of that, I'll just briefely cover the rest of my life. Careerwise, tired of RGIS. I thought about going into huge detail and really going deep into it but no need. The bottom line is... I don't believe in the company, and even with the new equipment and other stuff, which does make and will make things slightly better, the company and I just don't see eye to eye. When that is the case, the best professional decision is to look for other work. I've kinda half-assed that, but I have had 2 interviews so far. No new job yet, but I'll get off my lazy ass and do it.
Gamingwise, I actually am starting to kart again. I finally broke the MKDD curse, and I have some of my old talent back. I'm very rusty, but there are glimmers of hope. Not sure how much effort I'm going to put in, but perhaps someday. Outside of that, I had fun playing poker, but man, I'm done with that for now, cause it's just a hard game. I'll do some other card games and yahoo games for fun on request, but that is about it. Mostly, with my girlfriend and other friends.
Sportswise, I got basketball about once a week (if injuries don't get in the way). I'm very out of shape, but oh well, we all like to play so I'll just keep going at it. Besides that, I watch a lot of sports on tv, and I currently participate in a pickem with my close friends in a combined college/pro football way. Either way, a lot I can say on that, but for now I'll leave it at that.
In closing, I would like to thank everyone that is close to me now. You guys are the bomb, and it's good to know who really belongs in my life, vs those that should stay out. Even though being 30 sux, it doesn't in a way, cause the ones that are still around now, are the ones I want to stay around, and as far as new... well, not going out of my way.
Lastly, I just want to say something to Christine. What can I say that I haven't already? ^takes a virtual kne........ na, not yet, but sooner than you think girly! Thanks for choosing me. I shall make you proud!